quartz cluster

A little bird peeped angrily at me for letting the dog outside. Excuse you.

I Set Up A Donation Button


So as many of you know, My mom has been out of work since late June for medical reasons. And I never really went into details but with how things are now I guess I will share everything.

My mom started having pains in the middle of May and told us it felt like her hemorrhoids were flaring up, she went to the doctors and they gave her some cream and that was about it. By the middle of June she could barely walk, and she could not sit at all because the pain was so bad. We called back and the doctors told her to not waste her time coming in, just keep using the cream and she will be fine.. A week later she called again and said she couldnt handle the pain, that the cream wasn’t working and she cant get through a day of work like this, so they wrote her off of work until she got better.

On the 1st of July my mom was laying in bed, I was next to her, and she rolled over and I saw blood all over her sheets, from her. We took her info urgent care and that is when they told us she had an Anal Fissure. Anal Fissures are tears or splits in the tissue lining of the lower rectum, which are extremely painful. They did a full evaluation and a bunch of test to make sure everything else was fine. Naturally my mother and I are worried and I guess the doctor could tell, so he assured us this is treatable and will be fine in a month or so, and that there is no way it is cancer.

So end of July, she is on all these meds and creams, and a specific diet and has to do epsom salt bath soaks 3 times a day..But still nothing has changed, she is in still in extreme pain, bleeding when she goes the bathroom (when she can go, even peeing hurt her) and unable to walk, or sit or even keep food down. By August she had lost 30 pounds and hadn’t gotten her period since May when this all first started.

So end of August, 9 Doctors appointments, 5 trips to urgent care when her doctors wouldnt call her back (again she cant sit, so car trips to urgent care were extremely difficult) and still no change, they at this point were treating my mom like she was lying and trying to just get disability so she didnt have to work (she makes less on disability then she does at work so that makes no sense) so they never wanted to see her because they though she was making it all up.

September 11th they finally agree to let my mom into see the specialist, normally appointments take months to get but because my mother has been going through this since may, they felt obligated to bump her up on the list, also at this point she has lost around 45 pounds and her face is all sunkin in and has an almost grayish look to it.. So we go in for our appointment and they set my mother up on this table,and inspect the area, touching and poking (I could hear her in pain from the other room when they took her back) and they sad she can have surgery, or they can try botox into the area first, since that has been known to help many cases. We thought, well why not if it is going to help t faster and mean we might not need surgery. So we said yes to botox, while under the impression it wouldnt cost us anything and our insurance covers its, since that is what the doctors told us.

The botox didnt work and on September 16th we went in for surgery to repair the fissure and remove the hemorrhoids..Surgery took about 2 hours. As soon as she was awake and coherent I was allowed back. As soon as I came in the room and saw my mom she started to cry, and when I asked whats wrong she told me they found cancer..Needless to say I broke down and completely lost it.

The doctor was going on vacation so he was basically rushing us out, and said once the biopsy comes back we will know all the details and he legally couldnt tell us bout it before…Yet he can tell us my mother has cancer and just have us leave without knowing anything more and being completely in the dark.. He did tell us she will need chemo and radiation though.

So it has been a week since my mothers surgery, she is moving around a little better since the things that were causing her the most pain have been removed. But we still know nothing about her anal cancer, other than it is there, we do not know the type, how big it is. And she hasnt even had her whole body tested yet, so we do not even know if what they found was all of it.

We got a call today that the appointment her doctor made to discuss everything isnt until October 17th… My mother has been out of work since June and we have been barely getting by, I have been working numerous odd jobs to help pay bills, and I have had to sell many of my own things. Including a collectible doll my father bought me a month before he passed away. With the school year starting I have lost my temp positions to college students who need the job for credits, and I have recently had to go dumpster diving for cans and bottles just to be able to get groceries. We cant afford gas for the car so we can only ever use it to take her to appointments, but we are about to run out. Bill collectors come daily and we are on the verge of losing our house.

My moms work called and made it clear her commission she makes will no longer be included in her disability checks, so that is about 70% of our monthly income gone.. And withing the next couple months my moms work will probably make a case to fire her claiming keeping her on is hurting the company, even though she is the only reason they haven’t gone out of business. They have no loyalty.

So I have set up a donation button to help me pay house and medical bills, the botox shots alone that we just received a bill for are 2,500. And we do not even have an idea of the cost of the chemo and radiation yet.

My mother is the most important person in my life, after my father passed she gave up everything to give us a better life, working from 6am-midnight so that we can move out of the bad neighborhood we were in and give us a home and better opportunities…It has been really hard watching my mother slowly deteriorate to the point of not being able to go get food if she wanted because she cant stand.

I understand we are all going through hard times right now, and I am sure many are suffering way worse than I and my family are. But I still feel I should ask, if any of you can donate anything, even a dollar or two for groceries, it would honestly mean the world to me and my family. And if you can’t donate,maybe just reblog this post.

I have set up a paypal and am accepting donations here

I also have a link set up on my blog.

I just realized how long this post is so I am going to end it. Thank you everyone who has shown me such amazing support over these past few months. Logging on daily and seeing all of your messages has honestly meant so much to me. So thank you.

- Amanda

(via medievalwitch)

I was the cutest toddler, ever.

One of my relatives keeps liking and commenting on my statuses and photos on fb and I’m not really sure who she is.

I’ve been collecting rocks since I was about four. And I’ve had some for longer than some of you have been alive.

ghoullist asked: What rock would I be? ♡♡

You would totally be morganite! It’s in the beryl family, so it’s like emeralds or aquamarine, but instead of being deep green or light blue, it’s typically a very gentle pink. 

kellywat asked: Oi, who's your favorite FMA character?

I looooooove Lan Fan and basically every single female character. But she is my favorite. She’s kind of a mix between Edward and Riza. I love it.

And the rock you remind me of is… Rainbow moonstone! 

watergender asked: WHAT KIND OF ROCK WOULD I BE


Definitely watermelon tourmaline!
It’s kind of a tie between alexandrite though, because you remind me of the color green.

I’m really bored so y’all should send me asks and I’ll tell you what rock you remind me of.


No Doubt | Spiderwebs

(via gatorbiscuits)

"I love you, but I’m mad at you is one of the most freeing, important things you can say in a stable relationship. Does that make sense? To know that you have the ability and the right to be mad at someone and know that it doesn’t mean things are over, that it doesn’t mean things are irreparable. That it just means I’m mad, but God, I love you. I love you. Now leave me alone."

- To be good, to save nothing (via nonelikejesus)

(via 1nd2rd3st)

I can’t with this sign because





(via ameliacakee)


cat comics #3

believemeallisbrilliant replied to your post: I’ve come so far from where I was a ye…

This is a good thing, I think. yes?

Very good thing! I was super depressed, still in contact with my abusive ex, not trying to get my diploma, jobless, and had no idea what I was wanting to do with my life.